Where?
by Grape Icies
Summary: "Rio de Janiro, the city he'd once sang all the praises in the world to, was now dead to him: a mere spot on the map. It didn't matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was movement." And the finale has been posted!
1. Where is your God?

Summary: "Rai-" "Where's your God now, Kimiko?" Oneshot Dark!Fic set during Raimundo's turn to the Heylin Side.

A/N: Feeling in a dark mood. Started listening to "Hurricane" by 30 Seconds to Mars. Really got into the mood to write. Not even going to bother perfecting it. Based on the song fic style of TheXGrayXLady.

**EDIT: **lolwhut? Nomination? ._. *Runs around madly* YAY!

**Where is your God?**

She'd never been afraid of the dark. Her father dispelled any sense of fear attached to the darkness with his silly games and comforting songs he'd sing to her during the night, curled up with the curtains drawn and the lights off. She closed her eyes. The shadows were her friends. Her soul was of fire, but it's in that very same darkness that she shone the brightest: provided consolation for the weak, guidance for the lost. No matter how many times he'd told her he was leaving, she didn't believe him. She would shine bright enough to steal away any darkness plaguing him.

This darkness, however, was suffocating. She was such a fool.

The xiaolin apprentice had been lying awake, listening to the poisoned rainfall, when she'd been pulled from her prison cell in the late hours of the night. Golems had dragged her, chained, to see him. To say she didn't expect what she saw would be the understatement of the century. The room was lit, but all she saw was smothering obscurity radiated from his aura. He looked like him, but he wasn't the boy she knew. He couldn't be.

With a flick of his wrist, the golems placed her in front of him and they were alone.

She envied his relaxed pose, his cocky expression. How could he be at such ease when his true self had gone missing? Fear, anxiety, anger, betrayal, _hatred_: She knew they were written all over her face. She was never one for concealing her emotions. She briefly entertained the thought of burning away the darkness suffocating her.

"The offer still stands," he started, pulling her attention to him, kneeling down to her level, the arrogant smirk staining the ghost of a smile that was once his. She desperately wished she could burn the smirk off his face. _Burn, burn, _she thought to herself. Burn away the mask concealing the boy she missed so desperately. She, however, refused to back down. He was mocking her and her pride refused to allow him to make a fool of her. She growled at him angrily. He knew the answer would always be no. He frowned. "You're on a losing side," he reminded her testily. "It's a matter of time before you'll be begging me to tak-"

"The Heylin side will never win," she interrupted harshly, lashing out the words like a whip.

"Yeah?" The haught in his tone made her hate him all the more. "What makes you so sure you'll win."

"Omi wil-"

It was his turn to interrupt her. "Omi!" He laughed, the malicious sound ricocheting off the bleak walls. "That chrome-dome is stuck fifteen hundred years in the past! What kind of idiot would put their hope in that lost cause?" he jeered, roughly grabbing hold of her face. "I never got you guys. You. You all treat Omi like he's some sort of _God._ The ultimate savior." She flinched away, wincing as his spite-powered fingers dug into her jaw line. "Believing in Omi is _hopeless_," he hissed, emphasizing the last word until it scraped at the little confidence she had left. She closed her eyes, refusing to see the sadistic hurricane he'd become. He couldn't hurt her if she couldn't see him. She'd find comfort in her own, self-created darkness.

"You-"

"Tell me," he demanded, interrupting her again and forcing away her blanket of comfort and back into the dismal murkiness he held over her. "How important is he to you? Would you _kill_ for him? To save his life? To prove you're right? Prove he's the key?" She silently pulled away from him, begging for his fingers to release her. She felt tear prick at the corners of her eyes. No! She refused to lower herself to crying! She held back the tears, her rattled pride keeping her at bay.

"TELL ME!" he demanded, grabbing her face and forcing her to look into his erratic and furious eyes in greater force than last time, fear gripping her heart even tighter. "Tell me," he asked, laughing like a breathless manic. "Would you? Would you kill?" Her eyes widened as she saw a brief moment of despaired jealousy flash across his expression. "Tell me, Kimiko!"

"Stop," she pleaded, pulling away from him.

"That's right!" he laughed, holding her face firmly in place, centimeters from his, the haughty manic returning. "Because you know it too! Believing in him is hopeless!"

"Rai-"

For the third time, she was interrupted. "If you can't tell me if he's worth that, then at least tell me this!" He pulled her face closer and pressed his forehead against hers, close enough so she was able to smell the mint in his breath and hear the angry beating of his heart. "_Where is your God now, Kimiko?_"

The last of her pride shattered and she broke into a sob, hanging her head low. "I don't know!" she cried out, her shoulders shaking violently. She hated him. She hated him for making her cry. She hated him for breaking her confidence. She hated him for making her doubt Omi. But most of all, she hated him for leaving in the first place. Anger and despair pumped through her veins, her hatred making her blood feel like it was on fire. Through her tears, she could've sworn she saw him hesitate; the mask the Heylin had forced on him slip off for the inkling of a moment as he pulled away from her, his fingers releasing her face. "You're _revolting_, Raimundo Pedrosa!" she spat fiercely at him, her temper raging, trying to hurt him like he'd hurt her. She shook the tears from her face, unable to wipe them away. "Omi is a _thousand_ times the man you will ever be!"

The relapse was brief. The mask was back on. He gripped her by the back of her head and crashed their lips together, clutching her to him tightly, clasping her closer and closer as if he were trying to squeeze every ounce of Omi's influence out of her. The burning desperation she felt behind his kiss suffocated her even more. She gasped for air, making the mistake of parting her lips. He took the opportunity to force himself into her, his tongue violating her mouth furiously. She cried as her first kiss was ripped away from her, screaming in his mouth rebelliously. He pulled away and covered her mouth with his calloused palm, his eyes reflecting betrayal. '_Him!_' she thought to herself, laughing in the irony, _'Him betrayed! That's hilarious!_'

"Don't _mention_ _him_ again," he ordered with a dangerous snarl. "Even if you refuse to be mine, I'd _KILL_ you before you ever became his." She resisted the urge to shrink away from him. He was unstable on the Heylin side.

"It doesn't matter," she pleaded, realizing that he was at war with himself. "You don't belong with Wuya! Raimundo, you promised-"

"It's not enough!" he snapped, looking away from her, shame burning on his face.

"I prayed-"

"Bullshit!"

"Our secrets-"

"Let it all go!" he snapped again, pushing away from her as he started to pace around the room, gripping his head.

She shouted at him, "Don't you see what the darkness is doing to you? You're losing yourself!"

"What do you care?" he shouted back, turning to face her from across the room, putting distance between them. "You guys don't need me! I was the dead weight of the team!"

She screamed in frustration. "SAYS WHO!"

"EVERYONE!" he argued back, taking threatening strides towards her. "I did what I thought was right and I got diddly SQUAT for it. Omi was the hero! He's always the hero!"

"No," she cried. "He isn't! Not to me!"

"What kind of idiot do you take me for?" he demanded heatedly. "Are you gonna feed me some bullshit about _me_ being a hero? I'm not stupid!" The insecurity was written all over his body, making the murk he radiated grow and push more fear into her. He was in her face again. "_You can't fool me with lies._"

"I'm not lying!"

"So you're saying that you want me now?" he laughed condescendingly. "More bullshit!"

She shouted into the air, "I don't want you like this! I want you like you were!"

He forced her out of her chair and pushed her down onto the floor indignantly, climbing onto her and pressing his body down on hers. She closed her eyes. She knew it was just a show. He was trying to flaunt his dominance on her. He forced her to look at him and his tired jade met her misty sky. "Do you really want me?" he asked softly, jaded by animosity and vacillation. "Me? Tell me," he asked breathlessly. "Are you telling me to torture me for my sins? Do you really want me? Or would I be living a lie if I believed you?" He rested his head against her chest, feeling it rise and fall as she breathed shallowly, excited by their show.

However, before she could answer, he stood. "Get out of my face." He summoned golems to take her back and she grunted in protest as they uncaringly scooped her off the floor.

"Raimundo!" He looked back at her, mistrust read in his eyes. She paused as their eyes met again, their standings finally reaching a strange equilibrium. "I…" she swallowed and caught her breath before she looked at him again. "No, I wouldn't kill for him."

"Wha-"

She cut him off with a sharp shake of her head and looked at him, solemn and melancholy sincerity in her own eyes. "I wouldn't kill for him." She squirmed furiously as he flicked his wrist and started to send her off. She yelled at him as she was taken away, "But I'd kill to get you back!"

Raimundo was left in shock as he watched the golems take Kimiko away, her words echoing in his head before he doubled over and let out a yell of fury.

~*End*~


	2. Where is your Savior?

A/N: I got in the mood to write again and turn that once-oneshot into a Four-Shot. Not as dark as the last one, but still pretty melancholy. The last one was more song-ficish, but this one is coming straight out of my head, lyrics omitted. ._. I might break my promise and actually come back to "Where is your God?" in order to make it more natural. I forced in too many lyrics in places they didn't belong and the emotion suffered a little, so for now, I will present you with a part 2, this time set after Raimundo leaves Master Monk Guan's temple.

*Runs Around* RaiKim = LOVE. Even Dark!RaiKim, which there's a little less of.

**Where is Your Savior?**

It was like déjà vu.

Sickening, thick, and suffocating as they stared at each other. She couldn't help but to wonder: why did he implant so much fear in her when he did things like this? When she saw those hints of murkiness and insecurity plague him? She wasn't exactly sure how she'd ended up in the situation. It wasn't like last time. He had forced her into his company that time. But this time… This time, she was the masochist.

By some sick twist of fate, she was pinned to one of the forest's trees, her breathing shallow as she looked into those hopeless jade-colored eyes again. The overwhelming recollection of suppressed memories was almost nauseating as she recalled the last time he'd pinned her down. She swallowed and unconsciously rubbed her neck and jaw, remembering the bruises his hands had forced on her.

"Why did you come?"

A flash of hope fluttered in her. He sounded like himself, just… forlorn and bitter. Just forlorn and bitter? What was wrong with her? Those emotions didn't belong on him. They were nothing like him. They sucked away the carefree essence that was he. The essence and spirit that had just… clicked with hers. Her body trembled, remembering his feral touch. She recalled the events leading up to this very instant in flashes with eyes closed tightly…

"_I'm tired of this place! I'm leaving!" A grab of his arm. "Raimundo, just think about it!" The demanding questions. "What's there to think about?" "Why are you still following me?" A shove and a push. "Let go of me!" Her stubborn reply. "Not until you stop and talk to me!" The forest trees looming around them. "Raimundo!" A desperate question. "Where are you going?" The snappy reply. "None of your business, Kimiko! Go back to everyone else!" "Not until you come back with me!" He suddenly turns and slams her back against the rough bark of one of the forest's trees. "How many times," he growled, his face dangerously shadowing the echoes of a time thought to be forgotten, "How many times do I need to tell you to stay out of my damn business?"_

"Kimiko!"

She flinched at the sudden irritation in his yell. "You know why I came," the petite Asian answered, looking away and stubbornly staring at a patch of grass on the ground. Two times in this situation was two too many. This stupid boy… She winced. He gripped her face passionately, chills running down her spine as his fingers dug into invisible bruises he'd marked her with.

"I know nothing except you'll be fetched soon," Raimundo told her. "Where are your saviors?" he wondered gruffly, his heavy eyebrows weighing down on his face, giving it an almost sinister shadow, his dark green eyes smoldering in suppressed rage. She shrunk back, the ridges of the bark digging into her back. How could she forget? For all the amazing person Raimundo was when everything was carefree: he had a dangerous side that would overshadow his heart when it wasn't. A dangerous side that had and would hurt her again. He opened his mouth, giving her the nauseating reminder of the mint that lingered on his breath. She flinched and tried to look away again, feeling a sense of desperation as he forced her to look at him again, her skin tasting the nostalgic pain of his nails digging into it.

"Get out of here," he growled threateningly, reflecting every bit of seriousness on his face, before letting her go and pushing her away from him. Raimundo started to stalk away towards the forest, sighing in agitation as she appeared in front of him, her arms spread out to stop him.

"Not until you hear me out!" she insisted, headstrong and hiding every fearful reminder coursing through her brain, body, and heart at that moment. _I am not afraid of Raimundo. He isn't bad,_ she soothed herself, ignoring her common sense's appeals to reason.

"For what?" he challenged, an arrogant hand on his hip and a powerful arm shouldering his things, insistent on his way. For one of the wind, he was set on his way. She closed her eyes and took in a shaky breath. But like the wind, if she allowed him to, he would flow right past her and out of her life and that prospect was terrifying.

Her eyes pierced holes into him as she reminded him bitterly, "You owe me one for stealing my first kiss." His bravado deflated as he recalled their kiss. She stepped closer to him once the opportunity shone. "So shut up and listen to me for once!"

The Brazilian sucked his teeth rebelliously. "I don't need to do anything!" However, he fell silent, his posture fading into submission as he looked down at her. She let out a breath she was holding as she saw the shadows escape his expression, her heart beating regularly once fear ceased to hold it prisoner.

Kimiko reached out for his face, her hand caressing his cheek as he gently rested it into her palm. "Why do you always run from us?" she asked softly, emotion pouring out of her voice as she stepped closer to him again. He shifted in discomfort, tripping over his words as he struggled to get out an intelligible answer.

"Umm… I…"

"Why do we keep ending up here?" she pleaded, tears welling in her eyes.

"K-Kim-"

She stepped even closer. "What are we doing wrong, Rai? Tell me so I can fix it. Is it Master Monk Guan? Do I need to change his mind? Is it Omi? Do I need to lock him in a box? Tell me, Rai," she begged, stepping closer and closer until his back was the one pressed against a tree this time. He gaped for words as she searched his face for an answer, burying her face in his chest when she found none. "I should've known better…" Kimiko whispered, gripping onto his shirt tightly, not wanting to let go. "You never have answers…"

Raimundo squirmed uncomfortably; his mouth opening and closing as if he hoped the right words would simply come out. He paused and took in a deep breath to calm down, breathing into his nose and out of his mouth a good three or four times. He placed his calloused hands on the small of her back and rested his chin on the top of her head. "Kimiko." He felt her look up slightly in acknowledgement. "I don't have answers for you right now."

"I kno-"

"But I will. Soon." He closed his eyes. "Back then, you told me that you only wanted me as I am and not as I was back then. I am me." He pulled back and gently tilted her head upwards. His eyes showed her a window to insecurity and doubt, written with melancholy ink in contrast to the violence-tinged insecurity from back then. He lowered himself down onto a knee to match her height better, the crest-fallen desperation in his voice. "I need time to find myself, Kim. Guan doesn't like me and I can't focus with Omi around, screwing everything up for me."

"We need you…"

"You don't need me," he countered. "You have all the best defense with Guan." He sighed. "Go, Kim. Clay and Omi should be out for you soon." He grumbled as he looked around. "Where are they?"

She grabbed his face. "If you don't hate us, then why won't you stay?" Kimiko demanded, her face serious and reproachful. He was an idiot in the worst of times and this seemed like one of those stupid moments.

He rolled his eyes and shooed the hands away from his face. "Fat chance. I wasted my chance to move on for the sake of my pride, so I won't dwindle longer than I need to." He closed his eyes. He sighed when she made no movements and stood suddenly. He pushed himself away from her and gave her his back, his broody mood returning. "Just go before the saviors come."

"Rai-" she started, but never finished. In a blink of an eye, Raimundo was gone. She cried out in frustration as she buried her face in her hands, languishing the savior that had just run her past.

~*Fin*~


	3. Where is your Hero?

**A/N: **And here's the third installment of the "Where is…" series. :x Do enjoy. This one takes place after the series finale. Time after Time indeed…

I also stole a saying from one of Mr Makulu's fanfics. (Lmao. You'll be able to tell which one from the quote, but I don't want to ruin it in the beginning.)

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><p>~*Where is Your Hero?*~<p>

"_Now that you have risen to Shoku warrior, your job has only begun. The survival of the world depends on you."_

Ringing, ringing. The reassuring warning was ringing in his head.

Jade-green eyes staring at his new robes, he sat cross-legged in his "room", music blaring in his ears, headphones drowning out the sounds of the outside world. His heart pounded as his eyes ran over the scarlet threads, mixed with the golden sash and the embedded dragon, seeming to stare back at him. Taking in a deep and ragged breath to try to clear his mind, he still couldn't believe it. Him? Of all people? Why would Master Fung choose him over Omi?

Elbows on his knees and chin nestled in his clasped hands, Raimundo puzzled over this. Yes, they did fight and defeat all of their old foes under his leadership, but for all he knew, it was just a fluke and he would never be able to lead ever again. He turned evil for couple days for Christ's sake! Granted, he _did _lock Wuya back into her box, but only after almost destroying the world by releasing her from her ghostly form. He groaned and buried his face in his hands. This was too much responsibility on his shoulders. For all he knew, he could turn over any second now, led astray by insecure impulses. His hand moved down from his face, gripping his chest as he felt the pressure weigh down on him.

He was choking. Suffocating.

No.

Eyes darting, the weight of everything was drowning him.

_I can't do this._

_They have the wrong person._

Eyes clenched, nose upturned to the heavens, tears threatening to run down his bruised cheeks. _Deus… __Salva-me. I can't do this. Fung is crazy trusting me with something like this. Anyone... Anyone could do a better job. Why didn't he choose Clay? Kimiko? Or Omi. Omi would be the right choice. He's the real hero. He has more training... more experience... more wisdom than me... What made me so special? Deus..._ he begged the heavenly Father._ Responde-me... _His throat clenched in a surpressed scream, feeling like he would burst in any second.

_I thought we were over this..._ he heard something whisper in his ear.

"Huh?" Leaping from his position and ripping the buds out of his ears, his eyes darted around as he looked for the source of the voice. "Show yourself!" he cried out, clenching his fists. "I'm not in the mood for mind games!" The wind blew around him, teasing his hair and rustling his clothes, running up his back and skittering across his face. He blinked at the strange sensation, letting his guard down as he put the buds back in.

_Don't be so down on yourself, Raimundo..._

He ripped them right off and looked at his MP3 player, blanching when he saw it had turned off. There it was again. That... voice? Where was it coming from? Raimundo looked all over his room, positioned to fight.

"Rai?"

He looked at the curtain that lead to the outside and relaxed, dropping his stance. "Kim?"

She looked at him strangely, holding a pair of ice cream cones in her hands. "Umm... Just wanted to know if you wanted to take a walk with me?" She smirked a bit. "Unless you'd rather fight things that aren't there." Rolling his eyes, the newly appointed shoku warrior ran a hand back through his hair and put his hands in his pockets as he stepped out of his cubicle. Smiling down at his companion nervously, he took the cone she offered him and followed her outside. "Nice night," she started, looking up to the sky and side-stepping the damage of the day.

"Yeah..." he agreed, gently guiding her away from some rubble that threatened to trip her.

"Thanks."

"No problem." They continued their walk in a comfortable silence until they were outside of the temple and walking in the forest surrounding. Raimundo idly licked at his ice cream, enjoying the reprieve from his thoughts.

"So why're you so down?"

_That_ certainly caught him off-guard.

He froze on the spot, dropping his ice cream on his foot. "_What?_"

She looked over her shoulder at him, expression not changing. "You heard me, Rai. What has you in such a funk?" Kimiko turned the rest of her body towards him. "I know you well enough to know that this isn't like you." He shifted uncomfortably, focusing on kicking the ice cream off of his foot. "The Rai I know would be wearing his Shoku robes all over the place, not his old Wudai uniform." They both spared a glance at the red shirt and loose white pants and he let his head hang.

"Maybe I just got used to them..." he muttered, fidling with the black trim and avoiding her look. "Last I heard, it wasn't a crime..."

She walked over to him and lifted his face so he'd look at her. Familiarity filled him as jade met the sky of her eyes. For a moment, hope filled him and he felt like he was flying in the skies, soaring over Rio, disallusioned by the crystal-clear hue. However, he forced himself back to reality and deflated, his eyes going from jade to jaded. He shook his head, breaking away from the fingers holding his face up. Hurt flashed across her expression and she held his shoulders, the ice cream long discarded and forgotten beside his own melting scoop on the forest floor.

"Rai... You know this isn't like you," she whispered softly. He closed his eyes, simply picturing the words coming off of her full and pink lips, and gulped. Her hands held his cheeks, holding fast when he flinched away from her as if burned, and she gently made him open his eyes. "I know this isn't like you."

Eyebrows furrowed in worry and insecurity thought to be forgotten, he looked at her with his weaknesses screaming off his face. "I... I don't deserve shoku, Kimiko," he finally blurted out, hiding his face in shame. "Master Fung made a mistake."

Blinking once... Twice... Three times...

**SLAP!**

The crack of her palm hitting his cheek resonated through the trees. "What kind of stupidity is that?" she demanded angrily, forcing him to look at her again.

He held his cheek, shocked that she'd actually _slapped_ him, his face burning at the impact. "What the..."

"You're... You're really an idiot sometimes!" she yelled as he cowered away, back pressing against one of the trees. He didn't even have time to contemplate the irony as she started her onslaught of yelling again. "Master Fung didn't make a single mistake!" Her knuckles rapped on his head furiously, her display of temper scaring the shit out of him, if he were to be honest with himself. "You _earned_ shoku, Raimundo Pedrosa, and don't you _forget that._ Or I'll personally beat you into a pulp until you remember!" She was red-faced with anger at this point, breathing aggressively.

Raimundo gaped at her. "Kim- You- I-"

"You _what_?" she snapped, crossing her arms.

He let out a deep breath and gripped his head. "Damn it, Kimiko. I'm not cut out for the job! I'm just a kid and I make all these stupid mistakes and I let people get into my head and I turned evil and almost let Wuya take over the world all because I was jealous of some stupid sash and I hurt you and I-" He took in a deep breath, ignoring her critical stare. "I... I'm scared I'll screw this up like I screwed everything else up..." His back slid down the rough bark of the tree until he was sitting on the roots, head between his legs. "I'm not ready to have this much responsibility..."

Sighing irritably, Kimiko crouched down to his level and held his hands. "Rai... You really need to stop doubting yourself so much."

His head rolled onto his shoulder, resting his cheek on his blades, as he looked to the side again. Letting out a mournful sigh, he told her, "How can't I with all of this overwhelming evidence pointing to how badly I'll screw up?"

She lifted his chin and forced him to look at her again. "Eyes on me when you're talking," she scolded. He looked at her blankly. "Rai, what evidence? Yeah. You turned bad for a bit. You made up for it when you locked Wuya away. Everyone makes mistakes. You tasted evil willingly and _still_ did the right thing. When you came after Master Fung, yes, it was rash. But you were worried. And for all we knew, all of the other monks could've died and you saved them by showing up. Omi stopped Jong before anything bad happened. You got back the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman from Hannibal Bean right after you showed everyone that you really can kick ass. You lead all of us in the future to getting Omi to the past to save us. You single-handedly saved me and fought Wuya, Bean, Chase, and Master Monk Guan in the same breath before Omi ended the showdown. You admit to your mistakes, correct them, and learn from them, Rai." She looked down. "Something none of the rest of us have figured out how to do..."

Raimundo reached out for her face tenderly and she rested it into the palm of his hand, smiling softly. "You just said it, Kimiko. In most of those stories, the trump card is Omi, not me. When I ask where your hero is, you should answer that he's back at the temple, training his little yellow butt off, not lazing around like I do..."

"That's it, Rai. He's a trump card," she told him, fingers wrapping around his other hand comfortingly. "And you're the play master that knows how to use him and all the rest of us. Without you, Omi could've easily ended the world more than three times unintentionally. None of us are as powerful as him, but he's not nearly as _skillful_ as you." Raimundo looked down, still unconvinced. "Listen, Rai," she begged, making him look at her again. "Omi is a lot of things, but he isn't a _leader._ He doesn't know the strengths and the weaknesses of his teammates like you. He knows his own strengths and ignores his limitations, wanting to do everything on his own. You know when to ask for help and how to find it. He may have the hero mentality and power, but you..."

He rubbed her cheek with his thumb. "I...?"

"You _are_ a hero."

The statement stunned him. Him? He was a _hero_? With all the skeletons in his closet?

Swallowing, it slowly dawned on him that she was right. His eyes lighting up with his thoughts, he realized that it was _because _he ammended for his mistakes that he was the right choice. He smirked as he thought about one of Master Fung's old sayings: "Water that is too pure holds no fish." Right now, he was the water and his team was his fish. Without his experience and his lack of naitivity, he would be unable to make informed decisions for his team... The right ones. Treaded on the path of darkness, he knew how to lead them away from it.

He sighed and smirked. "Muscle cannot be strong if it is not first torn and broken down into nothing, only to rebuild itself better than before," Raimundo told her, imitating their old master.

Laughing, Kimiko hugged him tightly, her head nestling into the nape of his neck. "I'd never heard that one before."

Raimundo laid his head on hers, taking in a deep breath. "Yeah... That one actually was inspired by my dad," he answered, arms wrapping around her slender waist. "I used to ask him why he was so strong and how I could be like him and he'd tell me that." He chuckled. "Just in different words."

"You never really talk about your family..."

He closed his eyes. "Because I let them down."

"You-" He shook his head.

"Another story for another day, Kim. I'm not ready to talk about it." She fell silent, enjoying the sensation of being held by his strong arms, rested on his muscled chest. She closed her eyes and held his large, calloused hands with her own small, slightly less calloused hands. The difference in texture simply enforced her belief that he was the hardest worker of them all: applying himself when they needed him the most.

She lifted one of his hands to her lips and kissed it. "Raimundo...?"

"Yeah, Kimiko?"

"Ask me."

"Ask you what?"

"Where that hero of mine is."

He blinked, confused. "Umm... Okay..." he muttered, getting comfortable before he looked up to the sky. "Kimiko?"

"Yeah?"

"Where... Where is your hero?" he finally let out.

She turned into him, burying her face into his chest. "Right here."

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><p><strong>AN: **Fluffier than usual, yes. Stronger on the comfort aspect? Mmmmhmmm. Personally dissatisfied? Not one bit. Now go read fanfic, loves!


	4. Where is your Heart?

**A/N**: I love you guys, but I think everyone forgot that this is an angst story. If you want fluffy fluff, you might get some coming up in "Shades of Green". The finale takes place somewhere in the implied future! And yes. I am showing off with all these fancy body terms. :D What? If I have to suffer through Anatomy and Physiology, I should at least be allowed to use some of the terms. HMPH!

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><p><strong>Where is Your Heart?<strong>

It was cruel. So, so cruel. Rubbing the numb and annoying feeling on his heart mindlessly, as if he'd been bruised, he let his head roll towards the open window, feeling the warm and humid wind as it flitted through, gently lifting his billowing curtains. He closed his eyes, holding back a pained sigh as he _felt _the wound. You would think he'd be over it at this point, but it continued to plague him, causing him to sweat during sleepless nights and sob to himself during rare, haunted nightmares. The terrible reality of everything that had happened all those years ago fell onto his chest like he'd suffered one of her familiar punches. He refused to think about what she might have said, but the memory ran through his head anyway.

_Stupid._

The wind blew around him affectionately, but in it he found no comfort. He'd closed himself off to the elements long ago, when they'd been taken from him. He'd foregone surfing. He never even went to the beach anymore. The mountains were ignored; the air shunned. He only drank when he was parched and ate when he was starved; he wanted nothing to do with things taken from the earth. His windows were usually tightly shut, but a sudden freak gale had burst them open and forced him to feel the air's soft touch, but he refused it in his mind. The wind deserved a better representative. As it was, Rio de Janiro, the city he'd once sang all the praises in the world to, was now dead to him: a mere spot on the map. It didn't matter anymore.

The only thing that mattered was movement.

He solely trained; fought until he was collapsed, panting and heaving on the floor, sometimes spewing bile and acid from his malnourished body, ribs painfully poking through his skin. He knew he looked pitiful among his unfamiliar companions, sunken face and carapace practically hanging off his bones. It'd been forever since he'd eaten and he closed his eyes to hold back a tear as he imagined a large blonde chiding him for doing this to himself.

_Rai! What're ya doin'? Have a sit and eat sometin'; ya look like buzzard feed!_

The man rolled onto his back as he pushed back the memories of the Capoeria ring. He'd been banished from attending any more classes. The master deemed him too unhealthy and banned the brooding Brazilian from casting any more of a bad light on his teachings. He smiled ironically, a weak tug at the corners of his mouth. He, personally, didn't blame the man. The students had tried to help him, coaxing him to restaurants after class and bringing a variety of native dishes into the class, but he'd refused it all. Scum like him didn't deserve anything. He'd let his team down. He'd been a terrible leader. He groaned as he heard the gloat/scolding echoing in his head.

_Raimundo! You did not take your responsibilities seriously once again! Enough of this wishing and washing! I would never do this!  
><em>

His hands covered his face, teeth clenching as he held it all back, but he could feel the pain seeping through the cracks of his already pitiful defenses. Flashes of blood-filled visions clouded his sight, blinding him as he relived the past. He tried to numb it back, but the memories were flooding him, overwhelming his tired and limited capabilities. He could _feel_ the blood drying on his hands, the guilt as it stabbed into his heart. He'd exhausted all his resources in keeping it all locked away and everything was now breaking free. _What have I done?_ Bracing himself for the pain, he let out a shocked and tortured gasp, eyes snapping open in wide surprise, rolling back and almost into his head as he gripped his chest tightly. Oh how he wished he could rip his heart out and smash it into silence, feeling it beat wildly against his rib-cage, trying to run away from the hurtful memories of the past. It was a jarring sound with no rhythm: only frantic thrashing in its place.

_Deus._..

His breathing dragged and ragged, forcing its way through his system, he reached out for his phone on the nightstand beside him. For all he abused his body now, something in him refused the notion he'd kill himself and still kept him alive. Each time he felt himself inhale the stale air of his dingy apartment, it was as if Jesus himself were supplying every single precious breath. Terror ran through his veins like poisoned adrenaline, breaking a cold sweat through his pores as his hairs stood on end, screaming into his head and demanding he seek help. However, his body betrayed him and his bony hand limply fell to the side of his bed before he could even touch the covering of his phone. _I'm getting what I deserve for abusing myself for this long,_ he thought bitterly to himself, helpless as he lay there, heart beating as if it were racing to its end and his breath coming in dying gasps. A realization struck.

_Even the wind left me, finally._

He felt nothing as he lay on his bed, arms spread like he was a starfish. The sweet caresses and temperamental, reassuring whispers into his ear were gone. For the first time in his life, he was completely and utterly alone just when he realized that he needed everyone else. The air around him was perfectly still, reminding him that the only friend he had left was now gone like the others; like the others, he'd killed it. And then all he could do is feel. His body was suddenly forced into perfect synchronization with him and all he could do is feel the damage he caused it. He felt his abdominal muscles sink into his body; felt his stomach growling in pain as acid ate at the organ from the inside. He could feel his heart growing exhausted as it desperately tried to keep him alive. He could feel his diaphragm weakly attempting to push his lungs upward just one last time so he could taste one last breath.

He tried to lick his cracked and blistered lips, but his tongue only stuck to the surface of his mouth, impossible to remove from the roof of it. He could feel his throat constrict into sandpaper, feeling the thick thirst and the dried roughness of his esophagus, cillia lining its surface brittle and dead. His vision spotted with blackness as he felt his optic nerves start to shut down with his cerebrum, followed by the rest of his brain. A weird buzzing flew through his ears as they stopped functioning too, his body losing its power quickly as it tried to keep him alive after his heart attack: he had too few electrolytes to support such stress on his welfare. Every neuron in his system was failing; homeostasis was too far from his reach to even hope recovering to. _Too weak..._ he thought to himself and flinched as he felt himself shut down even faster. He was sleepy, but he couldn't sleep: he was too afraid to. The thought that he would never live to wake up another time made every conscious second even more miraculous than the last. It was amazing how such a process could feel so fast but so slow at the same time. He didn't want to die and every moment alive was something he thanked the almighty Father for and prayed for another; however, at the same time, he just wanted it to be over. The dragging torture was driving him insane.

Suddenly he was disconnected from his body, shot out of their synchronization and all he could do was relive the event that crushed every ounce of humanity he had in him while even his heart gave up on him.

_He felt the blood dripping and coagulating as he stared at it in shock, watching it run down his fingers. The metallic smell filled his nostrils, flitting through his sinuses like an omnipresent creeper through the night. His eyes watered as he looked down at his feet and his jaw slacked, horrified when his own wide-eyed gaze was met with his familiar sky, now clouded over with a permanent film of pain and death. How could he? Didn't he love her? Then why did he? He looked up and saw the same question written on three other faces and suddenly he was reminded._

_She didn't love him back._

_She came to him, telling him about this... this _man_ she'd met and was now engaged to. Engaged? Ridiculous! He'd yelled her down, tense with responsibilities and financial instability in a country he didn't even live in anymore for a family that was no longer his. She'd picked the wrong day and the wrong time to tell him anything of the sort and the others had warned her, but she stubbornly decided that he'd needed to know. He regretted the euphoria he'd felt when she walked through the door and the smile that had shone on his face when she approached him, as beautiful and as delicate as she'd ever been. But then he'd noticed the tight line her mouth was set in, lips pursed seriously - noticed that she moved with a stiffness to her usually fluid and graceful step. His heart thudded. He knew her. She only did this when she had news she knew were unpleasant to hear. As if she'd known he was aware that something was up, she simply blurted it out and effectively shattered his heart with two words:_

_I'm engaged._

_Engaged? he repeated in shock and repeated it again in his head. That couldn't be! She'd left for only one year to go back to Japan and suddenly she comes back _engaged?_ This was ridiculous! Impossible! Not even remotely probable! He thought she loved him! Hell, they'd even made love to each other the night before she left to help her through the year with her father and she comes back to him, like a bitch in top-notch clothing and back-breaker heels, to tell him she moved on after he'd been so set on her return, waiting for her. No wonder she'd stopped calling him. No wonder she ignored his emails. No wonder she'd just... disappeared from his life, only to reappear with this... shit. He knew she was talking to him, eyes looking down coldly, a scowl set on her face as if she was disgusted with the sight of him, but he couldn't listen for the life of him. Only heard the rush of blood through his veins, pounding in his ears, deafening him and blocking out everything else._

_Yes. She'd come to him at a very, very bad time._

_His fingers curled and tightened around the letter-opener he had in his hands, cyclically curling and releasing as he tried to calm himself, breathing in through his nose and exhaling deeply through his mouth, his stomach pressing deep into his spine as he tried to push away the red tinge clouding his vision. He wanted to hurt her like she was hurting him. He wanted her to feel her heart shatter and be stepped on while he stood there, looking absolutely alluring to the part of him that had yet to process that she'd cheated him out of the only thing he'd desired since he'd laid eyes on her. He wanted revenge._

_"Raimundo?" came the soft question._

_And he snapped. He lifted the letter-opener and stabbed it into her as swiftly and as harshly as the question had come. A curling scream rang out as she shrieked in horror. "What are you doing?" He couldn't speak, his jaw tense with anger as he simply stabbed into her, his other hand wrapping around the milky skin of her neck and squeezing the life out of her. She didn't deserve the air he supplied her with. She didn't deserve his wind. He simply stabbed, blood spilling over her dress and his family's letters. He could feel the liquid seeping onto his skin, staining him, but he didn't care. He wanted her dead._

_And so she was._

_But now he wanted the witnesses dead._

_And so they were._

_It wasn't until after he'd committed his crimes that he'd realized what he'd done. And the knowledge weighed down on him like he was suddenly choking on his own guilt. He ran away and into the temple vault, snatching up the Golden Tiger Claws before the monks would know what he'd done. He lost his home, his friends, and his new-found life all in a fit of raw anger. Slicing through the air, he jumped into the portal and went on the run until a trail was shaken off of him. It'd been a lonely, terrible time and he cried every day, wallowing in the sorrow and solemnity of what he'd done. He was brave enough to save the world, but too cowardly to face his judgment when he screwed up_.

But, now, it was his time. He sent a prayer to Heaven, briefly wishing he'd get exactly what he deserved no matter how much it terrified him and wondering if his friends were happy in their afterlife. He closed his eyes as his body went slack and the final inhalation was spent...

* * *

><p>Jade green eyes snapping open as he sat upright, Raimundo gripped his bare chest, gaping for fresh air as sweat dripped off him in buckets, shaking in fear and anxiety. His eyes darted as he took in his surroundings and saw that he'd fallen onto the floor, noticing that this wasn't the dingy apartment in Rio. He breathed in deeply, inhaling the floral scent of the room and feeling a new sense of glee when he discovered that his throat was properly hydrated. He felt his body, half-expecting bones to poke out of his skin and all his muscle tone to be gone and letting out a sigh of relief when he felt all of his mass rightfully on his body where it belonged. He looked up when he heard the door open and scrambled up onto the queen-sized bed.<p>

A wave of rapture erupted through him when he saw someone slender, with skin like porcelain, eyes like the sky, and hair like an ebony curtain that fell to her waist enter the room. She sleepily closed the door behind her and he watched as she walked towards him, wearing the same shirt he'd worn earlier. She peeled it off and climbed into the bed, curling into his side as he sat up, her head on his shoulder. "You o'ay?" she asked incomprehensibly, ready to fall back onto the pillow in a heartbeat.

_Heartbeat._

He suddenly grabbed her, his happily strong and healthy hands making her face him. She blinked, suddenly awake. "Wh-what are you doing, Rai?" she half-whispered, her voicebox raw with sleep and inactivity.

"Where's your heart?" he demanded, still shaking with fright.

"M-My _what_?" she asked, surprised by his sudden request and blushing red when he suddenly didn't even wait for a real answer. He laid her back onto the bed, climbing over her and laying his ear on her left breast, hearing her excited and slightly rattled heartbeat under the layers of skin, fat, muscle, and bone. He let out a large sigh of relief, his own heartbeat calming to a regular and peaceful rhythm. She shifted under him, unnerved by his forwardness. "Raimundo...? Are you okay?"

"I wasn't," he admitted, eyes closed as he listened to the music her heart was creating for him. "But I think I am now."

She pushed him off gently and sat up, back against the wooden headboard. He sat in front of her, filling with joy as he was coming to the realization that what he'd had was only a nightmare and she was his reality. She cupped his face in her hands gently. "What happened?" she asked, plush lips curled downwards with worry and doll-like face reflecting concern.

And he broke again; this time, for real.

His eyes filled with tears and she started to panic, not sure what to do. "H-Hey! What're you doing? No tears!" He started to sob, his chin tucking into his chest and his shoulders quivering with the force of his cries. She made comforting shushing noises and pulled his head down into her chest as her normally strong and confident leader was reduced to a weeping mess. "D-don't cry, Rai..." she whispered as his tears rolled down his face and onto her skin. "I'm here for you." He wrapped his arms around her tightly, refusing to let go as he laid his ear on her left breast once more and listened.

There it was.

That clear thum-thump: what was it?

Her heart.

Where had it been?

Right in her chest. Where it belonged.

**~*Finale End*~**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I gave you guys a nicer ending than I originally planned, but the angst was so high I needed to soften it: even if it was a little. lol. The story wound down as I got calmer from an earlier rage, so writing a bad ending just didn't feel right. Please review if you would please and if you'd like, please check out my Chuya piece "Fascination" if it tickles your fancy.


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